If you're in that valley...where you are right now, doesn't have to be where you end up unless you stop. You've got an opportunity to learn your way out of this, and grow your way out of this but, it's going to take some time. You didn't get to where you are overnight, so don't expect to fix it overnight. That unrealistic expectation can frustrate you.
So, find somebody, a friend that will hear you and will let you just vent about where you are and what you're frustrated about.
Then I want you to get some people around you that care about you and love you. I mean that in the form of church or friends. Get some people around you to care enough about you, that will let you be you, but who also support you and encourage you.
Then, look back, and understand what caused you to get here. Don't sugar-coat it. Then use what I call "The Hogan AAA Process".
- Assess: Look at where you are and assess where you are. Is it where you want to be or is it off the mark?
- Acknowledge: Acknowledge that you can do some things better. You could learn and you're going to more forward.
- Activate: Worry about what you can control, not what you can't.
Don't get confuse. Don't confuse a "want" with a "need". Meaning that you want it so bad that you convince yourself that you need it. Then, what happens is, you can't imagine life without it.
Don't have a scarcity mentality. Scarcity mentality means, 'I have to hurry up and do this right now or I'm never going to have another opportunity'. And that's what causes us to jump ahead of our resources and jump ahead of even our thoughts.
Stop rationalizing and start thinking. Slow down and talk to somebody. If it's a big decision, you need to talk to a couple of people that you trust financially. Just say, 'Help me brainstorm this a little bit. Am I off the mark or am I rushing?'.
The game-changer: Make 2-year decisions. I want you to raise up out of your situation right now and look ahead 2 years. Think about where you want to be. What path do you want to be on? What do you want to be doing? Then come back to present day and make a decision that you'll look back on in 2 years and be glad that you made it.